His reactions

It took a few days before Fred and I had a chance to talk alone. He said he had thought about everything that I wrote in the letter. He was surprised by alot of it. He said he really didn't see how bad I was struggling with everything that was going on. He felt I was doing great. Yea ok. My wonderful loving and caring husband said he would try anything in the world if I thought it would help me relax a bit more. He wanted me calm and happy again. Let me just say I have never been a calm women. Feisty high strung, firecracker is more like it. I have always taken care of everything in our home, except the garbage and the car repairs. I even mow the lawn and weed whack our two acres myself. Something cracked in me this year and I am not sure why. I have always handled everything and anything that comes my way, but after my sons illness this last time I was just lost. Lost in a sea of thinking and feeling everything was just crap. The letter changed everything. We talked about it in great detail. He was worried about hurting me. Seriously you my man have done crazier more aggressive things to me having sex than a spanking. And spanking was already in our sexual play , so it wasn't new, just in a different way. We made plans the following Friday to get all of the kids out of the house. Yes the kid were gone. My wonderful Fred was nervous, I on the other hand was not. I tried to make things easier for him. I walked in the room with a smile, a belt, wooden spoons and a brush. Walked back out of our room undressed and walked back in our room dressed in a new beautiful  red satin outfit. I walked into our room and laid over his lap. I am yours my dear to do as you wish. What an amazing time. It was clumsy at first, but he tried all those items out light at first I have to say I laughed a bit at the lighter one's he quickly found that it was ok to crack me quite a bit harder. I have been blessed with a very high pain tolerance. To high I think sometimes. Lots of broken spoons around here now. This was the beginning. It has been the best thing that has happened in a long time. It is a way for both of us to relax a little. Fred finds that it helps him relax and he enjoys time talking with me naked and over his lap. He is even a little bossy which I never thought I would see the day that would happen. To my laid back easy going Fred I Love you and I am so grateful that you have chosen this journey with me.