Living the dream

Just when you think everything is right in the world, it comes crashing down. Hubby had a heart attack two days ago. Minor thank God. It means some major changes for him. He is young only 50 and it was a shock to say the least. So many changes in a second my head is swimming and I am trying to figure out everything I need to do to make sure he is around for another 40 years. I always thought if you didnt smoke or drink and ate healthy you were good no worries. Not the case. Heredity does play a bigger part than I thought. I hope everyone in blog land is doing great. Things will be great again around here soon. I am so grateful God gave us a warning and didn't take that wonderful man from me. We have more time. The greatest gift I could ask for. Love Annie

Alone time

Time I want more of it. Alone and naked with my husband. With no one around. I want to scream and not into a pillow. I want him to spank the living you know what out of me and not have to be quite. I am planning a get away this weekend just the two of us. Hotel somewhere, I dont care if its a mile away. Alone time with a paddle, belt, hairbrush and a cane. A great bottle of wine and us two naked for two days. I can't wait. I need it now and if we can't be alone at home, a hotel it is. Hugs

First weekend off since I went back to work. The kids go back to school on Monday. I would love to say we are going to be spending the weekend on the beach but, it will not happen. We are spending the weekend replacing our front porch. Yea. Normally I love diy projects but, I just wanted to relax and have fun. Oh well I will try to have fun anyway. Loud music can make anything fun. Probably why all my kids like and play music right. It has been a very stressful two weeks. Something about shelling out thousands of dollars on college and back to school items that makes me freak. How a school can say that any book is worth 250 dollars is beyond me. This book didn't even have a cover you had to buy a three ring binder to put it in. Crazy stuff. So all the kids are staying home to help with the porch today and I can hear the yelling now. I am sure they have better things they would rather be doing. I hope everyone has a fun last weekend before the joy of school returns. I pray it all goes well here. I also pray that maybe me and my man can get away soon. Hope the next time I have the weekend off we can spend it in a hotel. Maybe an end room where no one can hear the screaming or spanking sounds would be heaven. HUGS world

Here is a hint of my mood today.

Those days when you are home alone and your man is at work. Sad face.

Back pain relief please

Sciatica is a horrible thing. I have had it for about 7 years. I had a real bad hit by it three days ago. Just twisted wrong and owe. I haven't had a real bad bout in a couple years but this one came on quick. Went to the chiropractor and within ten minutes pain was gone. Going back again today and then once a week for a month and I should be back to normal. It amazes me sometimes how I cant handle the pain from my back, but I can take butt pain for an hour and feel pure joy and release. How is that possible? I wish someone could tell me. It makes no sense to me at all that I can take a belt or spoon across my butt 50 times without crying, but the sciatica has me almost to my knees ready to cry in ten minutes. Hoping for a quick switch relief from my amazing man tonight. It's not Friday, but I need to relax my muscles a little and I know that will help. Don't think it will be the wood for a while, but I am thinking a little plastic or cane won't hurt the back. Hugs

Not Again

Well Friday night fun night. Don't think it's going to happen. Daughter invited boyfriend over for dinner. Yea. The guy is great. Treats her wonderful, but sometimes I want to scream. Hello your parents have a life to you know. Well maybe not much of one lately. To many people running around. I will find time if I have to send them all to the movies, on my dime. Mom needs some serious attention, and maybe my own time out. Hubby will see it in my eyes I am sure of it. Will make sure to bend over the stove a little lower when he gets home. Leave wooden spoons next to the coffee pot. Casually rub my body against him as much as possible. I think this little girl is close to the brink of losing it just a bit. If he knew about the things going on in my head and  what I would like to do to him he would throw everyone out tonight. Haha. Here's to hoping the kids will all hang out on the first floor in the familyroom tonight. Hope your weekend is amazing and full of fun. My short rant is over. Thank you and spank away.

Where is my mind

I don't think I can handle all this. Back to work after seven months off. I am losing my ability to do it all and I don't like it. House chores falling behind and I am so tired. Hubby is being a patient man as usual, but I'm not. I need to work to make the college payments, but everything else seems to be falling apart. Not enough time for ANYTHING. Annie is standing here as black hole seems to be swallowing  me up. How in Gods name did I work three jobs two years ago? I have no idea. Hoping a very powerful spank night will help me put things back into perspective and calm me down. Now where can we fit that in? Hope your week is better.  Hugs Annie

Back to work

Back to work after seven months off. Yuck! It had to be done college payments coming due, but working with the public again is draining the hell out of me. People can be so mean and cruel and some just get off on it. I am doing what I have to for my family because it's my job, but my gosh bring on the spankings please. The only way to calm the stress reduce anxiety is a half hour with a paddle, or a cane, yummy thats sounds better. Half hour to peace and sweet dreams. Soon its almost Friday night fun night. YES

His reactions

It took a few days before Fred and I had a chance to talk alone. He said he had thought about everything that I wrote in the letter. He was surprised by alot of it. He said he really didn't see how bad I was struggling with everything that was going on. He felt I was doing great. Yea ok. My wonderful loving and caring husband said he would try anything in the world if I thought it would help me relax a bit more. He wanted me calm and happy again. Let me just say I have never been a calm women. Feisty high strung, firecracker is more like it. I have always taken care of everything in our home, except the garbage and the car repairs. I even mow the lawn and weed whack our two acres myself. Something cracked in me this year and I am not sure why. I have always handled everything and anything that comes my way, but after my sons illness this last time I was just lost. Lost in a sea of thinking and feeling everything was just crap. The letter changed everything. We talked about it in great detail. He was worried about hurting me. Seriously you my man have done crazier more aggressive things to me having sex than a spanking. And spanking was already in our sexual play , so it wasn't new, just in a different way. We made plans the following Friday to get all of the kids out of the house. Yes the kid were gone. My wonderful Fred was nervous, I on the other hand was not. I tried to make things easier for him. I walked in the room with a smile, a belt, wooden spoons and a brush. Walked back out of our room undressed and walked back in our room dressed in a new beautiful  red satin outfit. I walked into our room and laid over his lap. I am yours my dear to do as you wish. What an amazing time. It was clumsy at first, but he tried all those items out light at first I have to say I laughed a bit at the lighter one's he quickly found that it was ok to crack me quite a bit harder. I have been blessed with a very high pain tolerance. To high I think sometimes. Lots of broken spoons around here now. This was the beginning. It has been the best thing that has happened in a long time. It is a way for both of us to relax a little. Fred finds that it helps him relax and he enjoys time talking with me naked and over his lap. He is even a little bossy which I never thought I would see the day that would happen. To my laid back easy going Fred I Love you and I am so grateful that you have chosen this journey with me.

Those special moments.

You know those little moments. A soft touch of his hands. The look, the one with the little grin that still makes my insides come unglued. Well I game in the house Friday night and told  Fred the great news. I found a job. I am so happy. It's been a rough 7 months. We have had a very sick child for several years now, but he had been very ill right around the time I was laid off so it was a good time for me to get laid off, but we do live in a very expensive area so its time for me to go back. Are child is better again. Our son has a rare illness that caused him to go blind at 21 years old on Christmas morning no less. It has been a very difficult 2 years and I never really worked thru what happened, I just did the best I could. Then I happened across a few blogs online. I read alot of blogs and a couple really made me start to think that maybe just maybe this could be a great way to deal with the stress without drugs from a doctor. I just didn't want to drug myself to deal with all of this. So one night I wrote hubby a letter. Told him about the spanking I had read about, how I thought that maybe it could help both of us let go of the stress. I told him I needed help, that I had been struggling with having to deal with everything at home and just couldn't do it all alone anymore. Not that I am alone but , he works 12 hour days 6 days a week. I watched out the window as he read the three page letter saw a few smiles giggles and a couple of sad faces, and then he started walking thru the yard to the house. He walked over to me and gave me a hug said I Love you and we will talk when no kids are around. More later Hugs Annie

Hopes for a better day.

It saddens my heart to see what is happening in blog land. I have spent many months reading blog after blog and enjoying the beauty of each one. I can tell you right now I am not a writer, just a mom on a journey with a great man. 26 years of pure love and I am blessed. We have had our heartache, but have always held together. This will be my place to let it all out. Fred approves and thinks it will be good for me to put it in words. Some of the heartache of the last three years and how he has helped me to cope with that. Tell you more later. Hugs Annie

Friday night fun

Dont you just love those wonderful nights when you have the house all to yourselves. Just you and hubby making the most of every glorious moment. Touching, feeling, talking and spanking. I get so excited when I drop the last kid off wherever they are going to. I rush home knowing what a wonderful two hours its going to be and then the phone rings and someone wants to come home early. Damn. So much for Friday night fun night.  Such sadness. Love to be a mother of such a big brood, but sometimes I just want to be alone with my man. Time to start planning next Friday. HOPE